Hey, Grad Students! Feeling 'exploited'? Here, have the worst granola bar in the world!
We hear you haven’t been taking care of yourself.
We know you have a lot on your plate. Papers. Finals. Presentations. Grading. 2-3 jobs outside of your Student Academic Appointment. Enormous debt. The pressure is real!
As the end of the semester approaches, we’re tossing out the “dead” in Dead Week and bringing on food, fun, and special activities to inspire and support you as you take on those final challenges. So goodbye, Dead Week. Hello, Spring Care Week.
Here are just a few measly and wildly cheap activities we hope will distract you from your own exploitation!
1. Puppy Pen at the IMU
When I’m feeling exploited, I mean, burned out, I mean, unproductive, getting to pet a fluffy little Saint Bernard puppy is the only remedy! When I’m scratching the back of that silly little guy’s ears, the steady rise of the cost of living in Bloomington simply floats away from my mind! And we’ll have them all week at the IMU, ready to snuggle you—they know being a grad student can be pretty ruff!
2. Taking a Break in the Arboretum
Have you seen that Tower of Mordor we refer to as the Bell Tower? The Bell Tower lies at the center of the Arboretum, filled with native flora: the perfect place to lie down for a study break! Don’t forget your sunscreen! Cause once you lie down for a nap, you won’t even notice the sun as you re-budget the next few weeks attempting to ensure you can pay off your car repairs, medical bills and afford groceries, all instead of napping. A real respite from those academic pressures!
3. Snacks at Simon Hall
We get it—meal planning during finals can be real tricky! But don’t worry! We’ve prepared an array of snack options for maximum brain power! The worst, crumbliest granola bars in the world; way too many unripe bananas; and the cheapest ice cream cups Margaret Thatcher herself could devise! Please only take one snack per person—this isn’t a food pantry. That’s located at 800 North Union—oh you’ve been there? Many times? Oh that’s great! You’re so thrifty! If you keep that up and just cut down on the lattes, you’ll be in the black soon enough!
4. Productivity Counseling at Wells Library
Taking breaks is helpful; minimal, infrequent breaks; but it’s important we get to the root of the issue here: how are your productivity levels? Awareness is the seed of all change, and that’s why we brought in a team of productivity experts for you to consult with to ask the hard questions. Questions like, are you sure it’s the university that’s overworking you, or are you just broken? With time tested methods like pomodoro, eating the frog, and bullet journaling, we will successfully gaslight you into thinking that you don’t deserve a living wage or any semblance of dignity!
Because your productivity isn’t just about you: it’s about your faculty, it’s about your peers, it’s about your students. You grad students aren’t just students, you’re . . . well, you’re not workers, we know that, but your students rely on you, like a big brother or sister, you know, like family, but not a fun family, a family that feels obligated to one another but doesn’t empower each other? That kind of family.
You are part of a much larger web. Much of the university hinges on what you do. Like, wow, if you all stopped working, I have no idea what we would do . . .